


Are we there yet?

by orphan_account



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Jack went first au, M/M, Shyness, Suicidal Thoughts, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23147734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What if Jack wasn't the one left behind to attend an unheard of college, going second in the draft, and overdosing? What if it was Kent Parson?
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Kent "Parse" Parson/Jeff "Swoops" Troy
Comments: 14
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**August.**

Jack went first. Of course. Kent thinks, lying on his bed, staring at the montreal canadiens poster above his bed.

He leaves tomorrow morning, to a wack college in wack town Boston.

_fuck. I can't do this. No way._

He gets through it, best friends with a little gay baker on the team, who's in love with Jack Zimmermann.

**April.**

"Is there a Kent Parson of this residence?" Kent holds the phone, tucked in between his neck and shoulder.

"This is he. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking to?" What comes next almost makes Kent drop his phone _. almost_.

Kent had been contacted by a lot of teams, mostly to get told that he'd be in the farm team for a while. Not this one. Not at all.

**June.**

Kent gets drafted.

Drafted to a scrappy team, but one with lots of potential. One he'll lead to winning the Stanley cup, just like Zimmermann's team.

The first person he meets is Jeff, aka 'Swoops'. They bond instantly, since Jeff is a rookie, even though he's played on the Aces farm team.

Kent clings to Jeff at the draft, shy about the pressers. "Jeff," he whispers as they try to take him away for press.

"Parse, they're not going to kill you. They want to know what you have to say." Jeff says sternly, but gently.

"I don't want to." Kent whispers back. He eventually gets roped into pressers.

They ask about Jack a lot, and Kent tells them he has nothing to say. Jack led his team to a Stanley Cup. So will Kent.

**July.**

Kent is scared to move to Vegas. So scared, that on the very first day, he cries. Sobs.

Jeff is so kind to him, telling him it'll be alright, even though Kent is so so hung up on Jack and wanting to be better than him.

Jeff and Kent get an apartment together, and become inseparable.

By the end of July, through training camps and all the "You're a rookie, listen to this" events. Kent acts like he has it together, but the minute that he gets back to his and Jeff's shared apartment, he goes to his bedroom and cries, loud.

But he does blast Britney Spears music louder than his crying, to cover it up.

Jeff still knows, when Kent steps out of his room for dinner, and his eyes are red and stinging. Kent doesn't say much to Jeff, at all. Ever.

For the first month in Vegas, he cries himself to sleep.

**August.**

The second month in Vegas is different. That's when, instead of crying himself to sleep in his own room, he cries himself to sleep in Jeff's room.

Jeff knows. He knows what this kid has gone through, playing NCAA with an almost unheard of college, Samwell. His best friend going first in the draft, like Kent was supposed to, Kent's overdose on his anxiety meds.

Jeff let's him cry, holds him tight, and doesn't say anything. Kent is not the type of guy to feel better when someone says, it's okay. Everything will get better.

Jeff quickly realizes that even though everyone thinks that Kent is a hotshot, he's actually really shy. He's just good at press, which makes him seem like he's got it together.

Jeff knows he falls apart at home, dodging any questions and curling up against Jeff.

It's fine. Or at least, he pretends it's fine.

Everything will be fine. Eventually.


	2. Cry it out (or, Kent learns that crying gets him what he wants)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent cries a lot when things don't go his way, But Jeff is there. (Except that one time)

Kent learns quickly that saying nothing is better than saying anything that might get you kicked off the team. So that's what he does. Says nothing.

Jeff worries about him constantly.

Kent doesn't worry about Jeff too much, other than the fact that he still falls asleep in Jeff's bed 6/7 days of the week.

Everyone said Zimms was a hockey robot. Now the media is calling on Kent as a hockey robot.

Kent wonders what Jack thinks. Does he feel bad? Probably not.

During Kent's first roadie with the team, he gets roomed with another player, by the name of Scraps. He doesn't like this. He wants Jeff.

Only, he doesn't know how to express it in words. So he cries until he knows Scraps doesn't want to share a room with him, and Scraps asks the coach if he can switch rooms with Swoops.

Coach says yes, and Kent cries again, but happier tears.

Kent and Jeff stay silent, on opposite ends of the room. 

Kent scrolls through his phone, and a timeline photo pops up.

It's a picture of Jack and Kent at world juniors, right before they won, smiling at eachother.

That's what breaks Kent. He doesn't want to cry, but crying gets him what he wants, and what he wants right now is Jeff to come over and hug him.

And that's exactly what happens.

Kent learns that crying will easily get him what he wants. It's not manipulative, (or so he thinks) and it works almost everytime. (Scratch the time that all Kent wanted was Jeff to hold him and Jeff ignored his silent pleas)

A week goes by, and suddenly, everyone is worried about their favorite rookie, who won't talk, barely eats, (or over eats) and only wants Jeff, just to sulk to him wordlessly.

"Parse, buddy, are you okay?" Scraps asks out of the blue one day, after practice.

That's when Kent finally opens his mouth and snaps. "Fuck off." He snaps.

"Jesus. Fuck, I didn't know."

"I'm fine!" Kent raises his voice a bit. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

And then Kent is crying on the ice, hands on the back of his neck, head between his knees.

Then he's having a panic attack. Big time.

"Swoops!" Kent is vaguely aware that Scraps is calling for Jeff, but he doesn't care anymore.

He only stops crying when he feels the pair of strong hands on his shoulders.

The team knows something is wrong with Parse now, now that he won't talk, won't eat, only likes Swoops.

Kent allows himself to be picked up by Jeff, who brings him to the locker room.

"Parse," Jeff starts once they're alone. "You have to start using your words, you have to start eating, and you need to learn that the team isn't going to hurt you." He says gently.

"I, I," Kent tries to get the words out, but it doesn't work. "I, I,"

Jeff wraps him into a tight hug, running a hand through Kent's cornsilk hair.

"Kent," He whispers. Apparently they're on a first name basis now. "I'm going to say this once, because you don't seem like the person to want to hear it, okay?"

"Okay." Kent responds, and his voice sounds new, like he himself hasn't heard it in so long.

"Everything will be okay."

"T-thank you Jeff."

Jeff grins. He'll work it out of Kent eventually.

The next week goes better. They play three games, two back to back, one against Seattle, the Schooners, and then the second one, which might make or break Kent's career, against the Falconers. Later that week, against Montreal. 

Kent wonders if Bob and Alicia will come watch him play, after all, they practically raised him.

"Jeff," Kent says after the first game, which they won. 

"Parse?" Jeff responds, tucking his legs up to his chin.

"I'm scared to play Jack." Kent finally let's it go. That's what he needed to say.

"I know." Is all Jeff says, and Kent breathes a sigh of relief. "It'll be okay. If you need someone to beat him up, I'm there."

Kent laughs at that. "I don't need you to fight my battles for me, Swoops."

"Can't touch these fists." Jeff laughs, punching the air.

Kent flops backwards onto the bed, throwing his pillow over his face. "God, you're so embarrassing."

"So are you!" Jeff hollers. "You bring around the same stuffed animal cat everywhere you go."

Kent narrows his eyes, but smiles. "How dare you bring shame to Molly's name, you disgrace. I bet you're a dog person."

Jeff scoffs, but doesn't say anything, knowing Kent's trapped him now.

"You are!" Kent practically screams, throwing his pillow at Jeff. And standing up on the bed, grazing his head against the ceiling. Jeff worries for a second that he'll hit his soft baby head. "You're a dog person!"

"Jesus, Kent, stop screaming-" Jeff doesn't finish his sentence, erupting into laughter, pulling Kent's stuffed cat from behind his back.

That's when Kent pounces, pinning Jeff down.

"Give me the cat back!" He yells, his nose touching Jeff's. He sounds mad, but he's grinning.

Jeff laughs, and holds the cat just out of Kent's reach.

He clambers over his elder, reaching for the raggedy orange stuffed cat.

Just then, the hotel door swings open, and a surprised Scraps is standing in the door way.

"The fuck?" He says. 

Kent uses the distraction to nab Molly out of Jeff's hand, racing across the room.

"HaHA!" He grins, sticking his tongue out at Jeff, who scoffs at him and scrambles up to grab the cat back, ignoring a confused as hell Scraps.

When Jeff grabs Molly and pulls, she splits clean in half. He's going to cry, Jeff thinks, but Kent doesn't.

Kent is laughing, knowing that's that signifies the fact Kent isn't a kid anymore. Plus, Molly looks pretty funny in two halves.

"Troy!" Scraps snaps. "What the fuck is happening?"

Jeff just looks from Scraps to Kent, a silly grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Nervous laughter) people are reading this. Haahaahaaa...


	3. The falcs are scary (and Jeff is not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aces play the Falcs and Kent throws up in an airport. 
> 
> (This is really fun to write, okay?)

Day of the game.

Kent is scared out of his mind to play Jack, so much, that he falls into the old habit of falling asleep in Jeff's bed.

Which is weird in itself, and Kent doesn't know how to explain it. He's not gay. At least, he was only for Jack. He just finds comfort in Jeff's soft voice and warm body. 

The team flies out to providence, and Kent feels like he's going to throw up.

"I'm not g'nna throw up," he whispers to himself. "Not g'nna." 

He does throw up, and, fortunately, Jeff is there to guide him to a trash can in the airport before he throws up.

"Yo, Swoops, is the kid alright?" Their goaltender asks. 

Nobody wants Kent to be out of play. He's a beast.

"He's, he's nervous." Jeff says. That's all he can say. He won't know the whole story until Kent inevitably breaks down after the game, whether they win or lose.

Kent sucks in a deep breath, squeezes his eyes shut, then plasters on a fake smile.

"We got this." He says.

Then, it's then that Jeff knows that Kent isn't going to let them lose.

He should have known, then, Kent would beat himself up after that.

When they get on the ice for the puck drop, it's Parse and Zimmermann.

Zimms must say some fucked up stuff to make Kent lose the face off, which he's never done before.

Vegas recovers quickly though, easily snatching up the puck and scoring.

But the falcs aren't ready to give up. They score two times in the first, which the aces match, and eventually, the aces pull off an OT win.

Before they even hit the locker rooms, Kent is crying.

He sits in the locker room, head in his hands, while everybody else is celebrating.

Jeff seems to be the only one who notices. "Kenny," he starts, and that's all it takes.

"Swoops," he sobs. "Do you know what he said to me? It was horrible."

"Do you want to tell me what it was?" Jeff pries gently.

Kent shakes his head, but begins to tell him anyways.

"He said that it would have been better off If I had just, just," Kent's words are broken by a sob. 

"Just what, Kent?"

"If I had just died when I overdosed. I knew. I knew we were nothing. He was just a power hungry battleaxe that always wanted control." Kent's breath quickens.

"Okay, okay," Jeff is sure Kent's about to have a panic attack. 

"I didn't know that everyone felt that way about me, I really didn't, I'm such a disgrace. I should have gone first in the draft. I should have." Kent rambles.

Jeff grabs his wrists in a protective way. "Stop. Stop thinking that. You are worth it. You are meant to be here. The team loves you. Don't ever doubt your worth again. And just because you didn't go first in the draft doesn't mean you're not first in my heart." 

Fuck. Why'd he say that? Kent's gonna think he's weird-

Wait.

"Really!?" Kent seems to perk up at that. "That's very nice of you."

Jeff's heart Is going to burst.

He's chipping away at Kent's stone facade, one moment at a time.

When they fly back out to Vegas, Kent and Jeff sit next to eachother and Kent sleeps the whole time.

Jeff takes some time to think.

It feels like just yesterday that the first time Kent and him met, Kent a crying mess, Jeff trying his damndest to be comforting.

Whatever he did the first day, must've done something to make the two inseparable.

Soon enough, Jeff is reaching over absentmindedly to run a hand through Kent's soft hair.

Then, the thought hits him.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm attached. I have to ride this out to the end now


	4. Kent practically has a seizure. Then he actually does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent let's Jeff know a little more about him, and they lose four games and Kent stops eating.

Kent is crying again. Jeff can barely hear it over the Britney blasting, but he knows.

God, Kent needs to stop crying, drink something and eat something. Preferably not alcohol, because even though Jeff has yet to see him drunk, there's no doubt he'd get actually shitfaced.

Kent creeps out of his room around noon. And Jeff just rolls his eyes at him.

"What?" Kent asks, and it sounds scared.

"Drink some water. I left you a poached egg on the stove." The words sound almost robotic, like Jeff has practiced them.

Kent doesn't move, just stares at the empty spot on the couch next to Jeff.

"Can I sit there?" He finally asks.

Jeff nods. "You don't have to ask-"

Kent is already swinging his legs over the back of the couch, slumping down.

Jeff can tell he has a lot to say.

"Jeff," Kent starts. "I just need to say some stuff, okay?"

He nods.

"I was doing so good, at Samwell, all my friends, specifically Derek Nurse and Eric Bittle, even though Eric seems to be in love with Zimms. I got along with them. I talked to people, made friends, held a captaincy from my sophomore year to my senior year, and then I got here."

Kent pauses, glancing up at Jeff for approval. He gives a slight nod.

"I'm afraid of here. Im afraid of playing big guys, I'm afraid of the falcs, I'm afraid to step out of my room. Jeff, I don't want to live like this."

"You don't have to live like this, Kent. You're the only one causing this."

Kent wraps his arms around Jeff's neck, and almost, almost kisses his cheek. He stops himself short, hiding his face in his neck.

The two don't say anything for a while. Kent clings to Jeff like a koala, but he doesn't mind. 

"Jeff," Kent whispers. "I, I,"

Love you, is what he wants to say, but no doubt Jeff doesn't feel the same way. He's straight.

"I'm really sorry." Kent finally says, pushing himself off of Jeff and retreating to his bedroom. 

The next stretch of games goes horribly for Kent and the team. They lose all four, and Kent beats himself up for it.

He doesn't talk to Jeff for three days straight, in fact, he talks to nobody for three days straight.

The team worries about him, especially Swoops and Scraps. Kent doesn't pay attention though, just focuses on getting better. 

One day, after practice, Kent just collapses on the Ice, and lies on his back, staring up at the bright arena lights.

Jeff is the first to reach Kent, sitting down on the ice and lifting Parson' s head into his lap.

Kent just stares at him blankly, saying nothing.

For a second, Jeff is scared that he just died, so he places to fingers on his neck to check for a pulse.

It's there.

"Kent, talk to me, bud," Jeff says, pressing his told hands against Kent's neck in an effort to get him to snap out of it. "Parser, hey," he snaps his fingers.

Kent coughs suddenly, rolling over and curling his legs up to his chest.

It's silent as the Aces watch as Kent throws up on the ice, and then Jeff decides to say something.

"He's sick."

It earns a "no shit sherlock" from Scraps.

"The kid's coming with me. You guys can finish up practice." Jeff says, lifting Kent into his arms, finding that he's surprisingly light. 

Maybe it's the lack of food entering his body.

Jeff brings Kent home, and Kent is silent the entire way.

Jeff has to carry Kent into his bedroom, helping him take off his stuff and putting on something more comfortable.

He's so close to Kent that he might just die.

Kent isn't sick. Kent just wants to die.

Jeff learns this, after Kent confesses to him that he wishes he would have died when he overdosed. 

And now Kent is full on sobbing in his arms, and he doesn't really know what to do.

"Kent." Jeff whispers. "Kent, it's going to be okay. You're only twenty three. You can turn things around."

Kent just sobs louder. 

"Kent, honey-" that's when Jeff knows he's fucked up big time.

Kent doesn't seem to notice, though, gripping Jeff tighter and looking up at him.

"Jeff." Kent says, his voice weak.

It happens so fast that neither of them have a chance to understand what's going on. Jeff thinks he initiated it, but by the way Kent is taking him, he doesn't really know.

All he knows is that he and Kent are unbearably close together, and their lips are against each other's.

"Shit." Jeff says when they pull apart.

Kent allows himself to be held for about three seconds before he goes limp. 

At first, Jeff thinks that he's scared, and that he read the signs wrong.

But he is so wrong.

So, so, wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CORONA TIME (jkjk but my school is closed now)


	5. Things change, and neither Kent or Jeff knows if it's good or bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen, and Kent doesn't know if he wants Jack or Jeff.

Kent runs to his room, shaking. The last person he kissed was Zimms, four years ago.

He desperatley wants to love Jeff, but he can't move on from Jack.

After Kent calms down a bit, he texts Jeff. He can't face him right now.

_Kent 9:12 pm_   
_i'm sorry._

The second person he texts is someone he hasn't texted in four years. His contact, along with all their text is at the bottom of his list.

He taps it hesitantly.

_Kent 9:14 pm_   
_hey._

Jack responds first. Kent never gets a response from Jeff.

_Jack 10:01 pm_   
_how's it going?_

Kent responds immediately.

_Kent 10:03 pm_   
_Rough_

_Jack 10:05 pm_   
_Wanna talk about it?_

_Kent 10:10 pm_   
_not really,_   
_i'm sorry for texting you_   
_i know you don't want to talk to me._

_Jack 10:12 pm_   
_it's fine._

Kent doesn't text him back at all, even though he desperatley wants to ask if he's met Eric Bittle yet, or how he's the falcs leading scorer.

_Jeff 10:30 pm_   
_Kent i'm not mad at you and I hope you aren't mad at me. i'm the one who should be sorry._   
_i'm sorry for fucking everything up._

Kent doesn't text Jeff back until it's early morning. Kent gets no sleep, mostly because he's thinking about Jack.

_Kent 3:37 am_   
_i'm still sorry._

Kent stays sorry for seven days and three hours.  
  


The second time the Aces play the Falcs, Kent is okay. (Or so he thinks.)

Kent wants to tell Jack that he doesn't hate him. He wants to tell him what happened, and even though it seems like a bad idea, he's going to find Jack before the game starts.

Luckily, he does.

He smiles and waves, which Jack returns, but also calls him over.

The second Kent reaches him, his smile fades.

"Kenny, why the _hell_ did I get a text from Jeff Troy at four am yesterday saying that he thinks you're going to kill yourself?!" Jack hisses, grabbing Kent's shoulders.

"I, I, uh, I _don't_ know." Kent whispers.

"I know we have bad history, but I don't want to hate eachother anymore," Jack sighs.

"More importantly, I don't want you dead because you're losing your mind over your straight best friend who probably isn't straight after last week's events."

"Jack, what?" Kent asks. He feels sick. Surely Jeff didn't tell Jack.

"Kent, listen. I know it's hard to move on from whatever we had, but Jeff seems like a good guy."

"What are you trying to say, Jack?" Kent finally finds his words.

"I'm saying, what I'm trying to say, is, Kent, I met someone, and I don't wanna be alone anymore." Jack says. He sounds scared.

"Eric Bittle?" Kent asks, because that's all he has to say.

"Yeah, and I kind of like him a lot. _Like,_ a lot _lot._ "

"That's, I'm, I don't want to date Jeff. I don't think he likes me that way. It was just a comfort thing." Kent confesses.

Kent thinks back to the one time where he slept in Jeff's bed for an entire month, and every time they cuddled.

Kent doesn't know if he's ready.

"Jack, I have to go."

Kent excuses himself from his conversation, and runs off to find Jeff.

He finds Jeff crying in their hotel room. He supposes it's his turn to be the comforting one.

"Jeff," Kent whispers, sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for the 'can I hug you'.

Kent practically jumps onto him anyways, straddling his lap. "Why're you crying?" Kent prods gently.

Jeff just shakes his head.

"C'mon. I told you when I was crying." Kent says.

"No you didn't." Jeff says. "You didnt, and that was the problem. You didn't talk to me for a _week,_ Parson." He doesn't meet Kent's eyes.

"Jefferey Troy." Kent whispers.

"Kent Parson." Jeff returns.

"God, I," Kent let's out a breathy laugh, falling into Jeff's chest.

"God you what?" Jeff asks.

He's really going there.

"God, I apologize for what I'm about to do." Kent finishes his sentence, tightening his legs around Jeff's waist, pushing him down onto the bed.

"Oh, god, I didn't think-" Jeff is cut off by Kent's lips on his own.

Jeff entwines his fingers through Kent's soft hair.

Kent gives a high pitched groan, and immediately pulls off of Jeff.

"If we're going to do this, don't do that." He whispers.

"Is that like, a thing for you?" Jeff asks dumbly. Of course it is.

"Um, yeah. I don't want to explain it right now, though-"

Jeff leans up on his elbows and kisses Kent softly.

"Fuck." Kent whispers against him. "Jeff, are we really gonna,"

"Only if you want^" Jeff's voice raises an octave as Kent's mouth drops to his neck. "Oh fuck, Kent, I wouldn't,"

Then Jeff let's it go. Who fucking cares if the team sees him with a fresh hickey. They'll all know by morning.

Without thinking, Jeff entwines his fingers through Kent's hair again, elicting high pitched moans.

"J-Jeff!" Kent cries out. "I can't do this." He says, his voice dripping with regret. Too soon."

Kent sobs, locking himself in the hotel bathroom. He pushed it too far, and he got images of Jack. Jack _used_ to be the one who put his fingers in his hair and got him to come like that.

In fact, there was a time the Kent can recall where they were at a banquet and Jack lovingly ruffled his hair and Kent almost came in his pants.

Kent scrolls through his Snapchat memories, until he finds the picture, the one where Jack is asleep across his chest, and his hands are around him.

Kent finished himself to that, a choked sob as he comes.

He wants to give Jeff the world. But he can't. He's not there yet. Jeff might have to wait a while.


	6. No more Zimms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent tries, he really tries to move on.

"Swoops!" Scraps crowds him at team breakfast. "Nice hickey!"

 _Shit._ Kent freezes, a waffle half on his plate. He brings two fingers to his mouth. _Kent_ did that. _He_ did that to Jeff, who doesn't deserve to have his heart played with.

Kent holds it together through breakfast, when all the guys chirp Jeff for his hickey, but the second that he gets back to the hotel to grab his hockey bag, he wants to collapse.

"Jeff, I'm sorry about yesterday." Kent says firmly. He's _trying,_ for fucks sake, to be more communicative.

Jeff isn't going to pretend that it's fine when it's really not.

"Kent. Decide. Me or Zimms. If you're going to play me like that, I don't want it. I saw the picture. You're still hung up on him, and I get that you had such a big past, but if you're going to pick, I sure as hell hope you'll pick me, but all I can do is hope."

Wow. _Shit, that was a lot._

And Jeff isn't done.

"Kent. I don't want to play this game. I really don't. So get it together."  
  


They win the game, even though Jeff and Kent have some terrible on ice chemistry that everyone notices.

Jack even texts him about it.

_Jack 4:14 pm_   
_Can i just,_   
_You and troy need to get it together, whatever happened before the game is not good, your chemistry was horrid._   
_Sorry i just think_

_Kent 4:17pm_   
_Jack i tried to kiss him and i pushed it too far and i can't tell you the whole story_

_Jack 4:30 pm_   
_Do you have time to talk_   
_i need help with how to ask my tiny baker out_

_Kent 4:35 pm_   
_Fine._   
_Troy is out with the team. Knock twice on hotel room 34b on the second floor at the Marriott._

_Jack 4:36 pm_   
_Sweet._

Jack arrives in less than twenty minutes.

"Jack." Kent starts.

"Kenny," Jack says. "I didn't come here for help. I came here for you."

"Jack, no." Kent says. (More or less whispers)

"Kent, I,"

Before he can stop it, Jack's lips are on his, and they're kissing. The kiss only lasts about five seconds, more or less it's Jack who won't let it end. Kent keeps trying to shove him off.

"Jack. No. Get the fuck off me!" Kent gives him one last shove, finally getting him off.

That's when the hotel door clicks.

_Fuck._

"Kent, I brought you back some sushi from that place you like, since you didn't want to come- What the _fuck._ "

"Kent, I gotta go." Jack offers a small smile and tries to slip out the door, but Jeff doesn't let him.

"Woah buddy, nuh uh. You're gonna sit right here and explain what I just saw." Jeff says. He's a calm angry, which is so scary.

"I kissed him." Jack says simply. "He seemed a little upset today at the game, and so he needed a little unwinding, and I'm always there to help with the things that need unwinding."

Kent tucks himself into the corner of the hotel room, silent.

"Listen here, buddy." Jeff says, grabbing a handful of Jack's hoodie. "I don't appreciate you talking about Kent Parson like he's an object, your plaything. He is anything but that. Kent fucking Parson might be one of the most complicated people I've ever met, but he is _not_ a _fucking_ object, Zimmermann. Get out of here."

Jeff practically shoves him out of the room, closing and locking the door behind him.

Kent has rarely ever seen Jeff get this protective over anybody, let alone himself.

Jeff sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Kent, I'm so sorry that had to happen to you."

Kent doesn't say anything, doesn't cry, just collapses onto the bed, ( _Jeff's bed)_ bringing his knees up to his chest.

It's not long before Jeff is playing big spoon and Kent is asleep. Just like old times.  
  


Kent wakes up to Jeff's arms around his waist and a "What the fuck?" From Scraps.

Oh shit! Scraps isn't supposed to be here.

Kent scrambles up, awakening Jeff in the process.

Scraps narrows his eyes. "Parson. How long has this been going on?"

"Uh, um," Kent stutters. "I, I don't know what you mean..."

"You gave him the hickey, didn't you?" Scraps says accusingly.

"I, no," Kent feels trapped, that is, until Jeff steps in front of him.

"Hurt the kid, and I'll hurt you." Jeff growls, and the only thing that crosses Kent's mind is, _I'm twenty five. I'm not a kid._

"I'm not gonna hurt either of you two, but what the hell. You could have told me! I know that hockey isn't the most inclusive sport, but I still would have liked a heads up before I came to tell you guys that you were late." Scraps grins.

"Oh." Kent and Jeff say in unison.

"We aren't together." Jeff says, much to Kent's expense.

"We aren't." Kent echoes.

"Didn't you come from Samwell?" Scraps says to Kent. "That's where the cuddlyness came from."

Kent and Jeff exchange glances. They got off easy on this one.  
  


When Kent and Jeff get back to their shared apartment that evening, neither of them want to let go of each other.

"Kent, I'm sorry." Jeff breathes, carrying him to the couch. "I'm sorry for saying we weren't together. I'm sorry if that hurt you."

"It's okay." Kent whispers. "Your career shouldn't suffer because of the way I am."

"Kent, I'm not suffering. I just can't do this whole is it me or Zimms thing, and then when we get caught, like this morning before we left Providence, I don't want to tell people we aren't together because you're hung up on Jack."

Jeff whispers, cupping Kent's face.

Kent collapses onto Jeff's body, breathing in the smell of the tide detergent they both use. It smells better on Jeff though, Kent thinks. Mixed with his cologne.

"Jeff," Kent can't hold back the sob that escapes his throat.

"Shh..." Jeff is trying so hard to get that comforting thing down. "It's okay. You're okay."

Kent doesn't feel okay. He misses the times where Jack didn't use him. He misses the times where he had college, and an NCAA team. He misses being able to talk to someone.

"Let's get you to bed." Jeff whispers, picking Kent up bridal style.

There's a thought in his mind, one he shouldn't be thinking yet.

_That's exactly how I'll carry him at our wedding._

Kent clings to Jeff, and won't let go. "Can I sleep with you?" He asks.

"Kent, just this once, sleep in your own bed. I have something I need to take care of." Jeff says.

That thing, Jeff has to take care of?

Isn't pretty, or good.

He needs to know something about Kent's past, and if Kent isn't going to tell him, he'll have to find out himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anxiouswreckkentismyfavoritenow


	7. Jeff learns some stuff about Kent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent doesn't talk about this, so Jeff might have to get it out of him.

Jeff does a lot of Google searching. In those reaults, he finds a lot about Kent's od, pictures of him looking practically dead, Zimmermann holding his hand.

The next article he finds, it's not good.

_Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann- Zimmermann has a criminal record?_

Jeff reads the whole thing. He learns that when they were seventeen, Jack was arrested for raping Kent. Nobody did anything about it, though, since he was a QMJHL star.

_Fuck._

Jeff feels horrible. He had no idea.

His instincts take over, and he finds himself standing in the doorway of his room, watching Kent sleep.

If he knew earlier in the season, he would have been better. Really.

Then he gently lifts up the soft duvet on Kent's bed, and crawls into the bed with him. Kent isn't wearing a shirt, and Jeff can feel his body heat radiating off of him.  
  
  


It's quiet when Kent wakes up, save for the sound of Jeff breathing.

Wait. Why is Jeff in Kent's bed?

Kent begins to worry. Did they do something and now Kent can't remember? He doesn't know what think.

"Kent," comes Jeff's tired voice seconds later. Jeff doesn't know how to tell him that he knows what happened.

Kent takes a sharp breath. "Did we, did we do something, and I can't remember or," Kent says fast, scared.

"No!" Jeff sits up. "Kent, No. I would never do that to you. That would be unthinkable."

Kent sighs, falling onto Jeff's chest. Thank god.

Kent couldn't Handle that again, for sure.

Jeff reaches for Kent's hands. "Kent, I have to tell you something."

Kent feels like he knows where this is going. "Are you breaking up with me?" He says instinctively.

"We aren't even together buddy." Jeff chuckles.

Kent doesn't say anything.

"Kent, I found an article." Jeff says after a few moments of silence.

Kent freezes.

"I want you to tell me the truth. Kenny, what did Jack do to you?"

"I, I, I can't tell you." He panics. "He'll go to jail or I will and it will end our careers and I don't want to do that-"

"Calm down. Nobody's going to jail. " Jeff resists the urge to add a _honey_ at the end of the sentence.

Kent takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut. "He took advantage of me when I was going through some stuff and I regret not saying no loud enough and I am so, so sorry."

Kent sobs, gripping tightly to Jeff's shirt.

Jeff lets him cry, holding him tightly the whole time.

"Jeff, I am so so sorry." Kent apologizes again.

"Kent, honey, you don't have to be sorry. You did _nothing_ wrong."

"I feel like I did wrong."

"No. No. No." Jeff says.  
  
  


Kent and Jeff don't go to practice that morning, which, in hindsight, is probably not a good idea, but Kent doesn't want to face the world, and frankly, neither does Jeff.

Kent ignores Jeff for about two hours, then can't handle it anymore.

He walks right up to Jeff and kisses him.

Well, not really walks up to him. He is sitting on the couch, after all.

Kent straddles his lap. "Hey," he whispers.

"Hey," Jeff returns.

And suddenly, Jeff is kissing Kent with more passion than he ever has.

"Jeff," Kent whimpers. "I, I'm not ready for this. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I completely understand."

Jeff holds Kent as he cries for what seems like the billionth time today, and he repeats in his brain, _it will get better._

There are other things he thinks about too, like how they play the falcs in a week, a home game. He wonders how Kent will handle that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEHAW MY SCHOOLS CLOSING CUS corona


	8. They finally figure it out. Finally.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent doesn't understand rhetorical questions, but he does understand Jeff.

Turns out, Kent doesn't handle it well. Surprise, surprise.

Halfway through the second period, Kent gets in a fight, with none other than Jack Zimmermann.

Kent gets a lot of the hits, earning him a bloody lip, but he ends up taking Jack to the ground.

"Don't you ever," Kent punching him another time, just for effect. "Talk about him like that ever again, you hear?"

Kent looks wild as he skates to the penalty box.

He doesn't play the rest of the game, even though the Aces win.

Jeff doesn't ask Kent about it until way late, when they're back at the apartment.

"Kenny?" He starts, resting his hands on the kitchen counter. "Why'd you beat him up?"

Kent goes silent.

"Kenny, just tell me."

"He said something. About you. It made me so mad."

Jeff shoots Kent that look he always does, and _oh god,_ Kent just _wants_ to have sex with him.

"Fine. He said you'd be a horrible partner because you can't even keep your shit together on the ice." Kent raises his eyebrows.

"I hear a strangely placed but coming." Jeff says.

"But, I may or may not have, in spite, said that you've got your shit together in bed."

"Kent!" Jeff hollers. "What the fuck?!

"I'm sorry." Kent says, but he doesn't sound very sorry.

"Kenny, you can't go around doing that." Jeff sounds exasperated.

"Can I go around kissing you?" Kent asks suddenly.

"Jesus, Kent. What got into your pants today?" Jeff turns back to the potatoes he was peeling for the next days breakfast.

"You." Kent answers, incredibly quiet.

"That, that was supposed to be a rhetorical question..." Jeff trails off, turning back around, coming face to face with Kent.

"Jeff," Kent whispers.

"Kent," Jeff says.

It happens so fast, that Kent forgets to breathe.

They're kissing. And Kent, Kent feels different than all the other times. He wants to forget Jack.

"Jeff," he gasps out. "Bed?"

Jeff just nods, and lifts Kent up bridal style and carries him to his bedroom.  
  
"Kent, are you sure?" Jeff asks, staring down at Kent.

Kent nods. "Shut up and kiss me."

It happens in a blur, soon enough, Kent is coming all over Jeff, sobbing his name.

"Hey, hey bud, why're you crying?" Jeff asks softly.

"I, I," _Kent can actually say it this time._ "I love you."

"Awh," Jeff won't cry. He won't.

Okay, maybe, that's a lie, because he does cry.

"God, Kent. I love you."

_We're there. We've always been there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who read this! Y'all are the real g's.

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes. This is yikes.


End file.
